Doctor: So you have cut down on drinking. Santa: No, not at all. Doctor: But I told you to watch your drinking. Santa: Yes, I am very particular about it. Now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls!
Drunk Santa is staggering along the street with one foot on the kerb and the other in the gutter." A police officer stops him and says: You're drunk! Thank God! says "Santa, I thought I was crippled"!
Jeeto irritatingly to inebriated Santa: You're never going to mend your ways. Today again, you have come home drunk. Santa: I swear to drunk, I'm not God!
Santa and Banta were on a holiday. While on a hillock, Santa to Banta, "Are you coming up?" Banta: What's up there? Santa: The view. Banta: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here. Santa: You are about the worst tourist in the whole world!
Santa: My wife believes in the adage - there are two sides to every question. Banta: Hmmm... I am listening. Santa: They are - her side and the wrong side!